The Silence Between Us Read online

  Praise for Alison Gervais and

  The Silence Between Us

  “A spectacular follow-up to In 27 Days, Gervais has written a beautiful contemporary YA novel featuring a strong female lead who isn’t willing to change herself to fit in. A heartwarming own voices story about moving to a new school, making friends, and falling in love.”

  —KELLY ANNE BLOUNT, USA TODAY Bestselling Author, Watty Award Winner

  “Alison Gervais’ The Silence Between Us, not only captures the anxiety most young people feel when they’ve been uprooted from their community of friends, but in Maya’s case, it’s exacerbated by the fact she is deaf and newly planted in a hearing school. As nervous as Maya is, her wonderful sense of humor enlivens the story for the reader. Gervais has a perfect grasp of the challenges facing Maya and fleshes them out empathetically. Her portrayal of Maya and the pitfalls she faces, in my opinion, are spot on. More subtle is Maya’s natural defensiveness even against those students who attempt to befriend her, throwing up barriers when she suspects pity as their motivation.”

  —GINNY RORBY, author of Hurt Go Happy

  “A spirited story about a girl trying to find herself and her place in the world. Gervais’ writing is sure to inspire readers to always stand up for who they are.”

  —CHRISTINA JUNE, author of It Started with Goodbye, Everywhere You Want to Be, and No Place Like Here

  “At its heart, The Silence Between Us is as much about learning to open our minds as it is about learning to open our eyes and ears.”

  —MCCALL HOYLE, author of The Thing with Feathers and Meet the Sky

  Also by Alison Gervais

  In 27 Days

  BLINK

  The Silence Between Us

  Copyright © 2019 by Alison Gervais

  Requests for information should be addressed to:

  BLINK, 3900 Sparks Dr. SE, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49546

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Hardcover ISBN 978-0-310-76616-2

  Ebook ISBN 978-0-310-76630-8

  Audiobook ISBN 978-0-310-76869-2

  Epub Edition June 2019 9780310766308

  This book is a work of fiction. References to real people, events, establishments, organizations, or locales are intended only to provide a sense of authenticity, and are used fictitiously. All other characters, and all incidents and dialogue, are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real.

  Any internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers in this book are offered as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Blink, nor does Blink vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

  Interior design: Denise Froehlich

  Printed in the United States of America

  * * *

  19 20 21 22 23 / LSC / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  DEDICATION

  For my parents, who didn’t give up, and for

  Tyler, who thinks my hearing aid is cool.

  CONTENTS

  Praise for Alison Gervais and The Silence Between Us

  Also by Alison Gervais

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  An Interview With Author Alison Gervais

  A Note About Cochlear Implants and Differing Opinions in the Deaf Community

  An Excerpt From In 27 Days Chapter 1

  CHAPTER 1

  I hadn’t set foot inside a hearing school in almost five years, and yet here Mom and I were, sitting in our minivan in the parking lot at Engelmann High School—a hearing school. We’d been waiting about fifteen minutes, and not once had my heart stopped pounding out a painful rhythm in my chest.

  Mom reached over and tapped my knee, and I looked up from my lap where I’d been picking at a loose thread on my tie-dye T-shirt. She signed, READY?

  I felt myself exhaling heavily. I was most certainly not ready, but it wasn’t like I had much of a choice. Hearing school was definitely not my idea, but with the closest school for the Deaf being over an hour away from our new home near Parker, Colorado, we weren’t left with many options.

  READY, I signed. WAIT NOT HELP ME.

  Yet again I found myself glad that American Sign Language was my preferred method of communication—it was short, sweet, to the point, and nowhere near as formal as English. I doubted I would have been able to string together any one sentence that would make an ounce of sense in English right then.

  Mom gave an overly bright smile as she unfastened her seatbelt and opened the car door. DON’T WORRY, I saw her sign as I unbuckled my own seatbelt.

  It was kind of hard not to worry when I knew I was about to become the weird new girl with the interpreter following her around all day. Talk about making an impression. I’d never had to worry about an interpreter before, because at the Pratt School for the Deaf—the school I’d gone to back in Jersey—90 percent of the staff were Deaf or Hard of Hearing, and those that weren’t knew ASL and could communicate effectively.

  At Engelmann High, I was going to be the one and only Deaf student—an honor I wasn’t so sure I was ready to accept.

  I grabbed my backpack and hoisted it up on my shoulder as Mom locked the car, and we began the slow walk toward my certain doom.

  Okay, so maybe that was a bit dramatic, but the last time I’d gone to a hearing school, I’d actually been, you know, hearing. I’d gone to Pratt for so long and gotten used to being around Deaf or HOH people—people who spoke my language—and now I was going to have to resort to lipreading and struggling to follow basic conversation.

  And then there was the matter of using my voice, which had me all but paralyzed with fear. I was oral because I’d lost my hearing long after I acquired basic language skills, but the issue was that I couldn’t hear my own voice anymore.

  Using my voice was sometimes a knee-jerk reaction when I was around people who didn’t sign, like the home health care nurses that used to come over a few times a week back in New Jersey to help take care of Connor while Mom was busy working as an associate for a company that specializes in harnessing wind energy.

  Even though there was nothing wrong with my voice—I hoped—using it was just downright weird. I couldn’t hear myself speak, but I could feel the sound reverberating in my skull whenever I spoke. It was a sensation I wasn’t all that fond of.

  Last Friday, Mom and I met with my new teachers, the principal, and the interpreter the school district arranged to accompa
ny me to all of my classes this year. And today, my interpreter would be the one introducing me to people, communicating with and voicing for me with teachers and which was a surefire way to end up a social outcast by the final bell.

  The interpreter’s name was Kathleen. She seemed nice enough, and she obviously enjoyed interpreting given how much feeling she put into it—a big part of signing to begin with. No matter how nice she was though, she was still a stranger.

  Mom put her hand on my shoulder as we approached the main entrance of the school and signed, BREATHE. YOU FINE HERE.

  I shrugged, biting my lower lip. There was no point in correcting her. Plus, my palms were starting to sweat because I was so nervous, and signing with sweaty palms was never fun.

  K-A-T-H-L-E-E-N NICE, RIGHT? Mom signed before she held open the door for me. I KNOW YOU WILL LIKE HER.

  FINE, I signed back, not wanting to press the issue.

  I hated finger spelling long names, and I made a mental note to ask Kathleen what her sign name was. Sign names were typically representative of the individual, so I bet Kathleen’s sign name had something to do with her flyaway red hair.

  My sign name was technically the sign for sweet because apparently the Deaf teacher who taught my first ASL class thought I was sweet when she gave it to me. I didn’t think that applied so much anymore. My given name—Maya—was a much better fit.

  BUT? Mom pressed.

  BUT HEARING SCHOOL, I signed, making a sweeping gesture around the school’s lobby we were now standing in.

  Rows of faded red lockers lined the hallway on either side of the entrance. Straight ahead was the main office, a huge clock bolted to the wall above the door displaying the time at 7:15, almost a half hour before school started.

  NOT ALL HEARING SCHOOLS BAD, Mom signed, giving me an earnest look. I THINK YOU WILL LIKE SCHOOL HERE.

  My new interpreter Kathleen came walking out of the main office to greet us, her mess of red curls pulled up into a bun. She signed, GOOD MORNING, with a perky smile.

  I wasn’t going to bother with a response, but I saw Mom’s stern scowl out of the corner of my eye, so I forced myself to sign back, GOOD MORNING.

  EXCITED? Kathleen asked me. FIRST DAY NEW SCHOOL.

  I shrugged, signing, SURE.

  DOCTOR R-I-V-E-R-A WAIT FOR US, Kathleen signed, finger spelling the principal’s name, and she gestured behind her to the main office. YOUR SCHEDULE READY.

  WONDERFUL, I signed, though I wasn’t sure if the expression on my face was as sarcastic as I wanted.

  KATHLEEN NOT D-O SOMETHING WRONG, Mom signed as we followed after Kathleen. NICE, she added in a nonverbal threat, pointing a finger at me.

  ALWAYS NICE, I signed to Mom, resting my hand on my chest and batting my eyelashes.

  Mom rolled her eyes, and I knew she was giving one of her world-weary sighs by the way her shoulders slumped. I officially lost my hearing when I was thirteen, four years ago, but I still remembered what some things sounded like, and Mom’s dramatic sighs were firmly ingrained in my memory.

  The school secretary was seated behind a massive desk just inside the office, and she nodded to Kathleen when we walked in. I watched her say, “Good morning,” as Kathleen pulled open a door that led into the inner part of the main office where the principal, Dr. Rivera, other school administrators, and the nurse worked.

  Dr. Rivera’s office was small and dimly lit with the blinds pulled down, which had made lipreading difficult when we met with him last Friday. I had an interpreter with me, sure, but at the same time I wanted to at least appear like I could understand what was being said. I wasn’t incompetent.

  Dr. Rivera was standing behind his desk when the three of us entered his office. This time the bright overhead lights were on, the small accent lamp on his desk turned off. Standing beside the one window in the room, arms crossed and looking just about as uncomfortable as I felt, was a girl with a high ponytail wearing a dressy skirt and blouse.

  I froze in the doorway. Had Engelmann assigned me a second interpreter? Or was this girl fresh out of ’terp school, here to shadow Kathleen and add to my already awkward entourage?

  TWO INTERPRETER? I signed frantically to Mom. DON’T NEED TWO INTERPRETER.

  Before my mom could reply, Kathleen jumped into the conversation, signing NOT INTERPRETER, pointing to the girl by the window.

  The girl was wearing stylish square-rimmed glasses, but I could see her dark eyes flicking over to the door like she wanted to make a break for it but was forcing herself to stay put.

  You and me both, girlfriend, I thought.

  HER NAME N-I-N-A T-O-R-R-E-S, Kathleen finger spelled, still pointing to the girl.

  Nina clearly didn’t know a lick of sign language, but she sure knew we were talking about her with all the pointing we were doing.

  DON’T UNDERSTAND, I signed to Mom and Kathleen. WHO SHE? WHY SHE HERE?

  Dr. Rivera was talking quickly now, picking up on the tense atmosphere, but I couldn’t even think of lipreading at the moment. I wanted to know what this girl Nina was doing here.

  Kathleen brushed her fingers up along her forearm, the sign for slow, and Dr. Rivera paused, pink in the face. He’d probably never dealt with a Deaf kid—like everyone else in this school, I was willing to bet—and I could tell he wasn’t quite sure what to do.

  N-I-N-A WONDERFUL STUDENT, Kathleen was signing as Dr. Rivera gestured to Nina, who still looked beyond embarrassed with her cheeks a blazing red. WE ASK HER B-E YOUR PEER MENTOR FOR YOUR FIRST TWO WEEKS HERE.

  DON’T UNDERSTAND, I signed in confusion, shaking my head.

  Dr. Rivera waved his hands around like he was giving some dramatic Shakespearian monologue as he explained what a “peer mentor” was. I only caught a few words of what he was saying, like “great student” and “grades” and something about student council. He hadn’t really seemed to pick up on the whole you need to slow down so the Deaf kid can understand you thing.

  N-I-N-A SHOW YOU YOUR CLASSES, Kathleen explained to me. WALK YOU AROUND SCHOOL. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE GOOD TIME.

  I should have seen this coming.

  SHE MY BABYSITTER? I signed, jabbing a finger at Nina. WALK ME AROUND, HAVE HEARING KIDS MAKE FRIEND WITH NEW DEAF GIRL?

  Mom was pursing her lips, looking uncomfortable while Kathleen relayed what I said to Dr. Rivera and Nina. I watched Nina’s face fall as she listened to Kathleen, and I felt a momentary twinge of guilt.

  I wanted to get used to the idea of being in a hearing school again at my own pace. Not just be thrown to the wolves and expected to make friends with the first hearing kid to cross my path.

  NOT LIKE THAT, Kathleen interpreted as Nina started to speak. WANT YOU ENJOY E-N-G-E-L-M-A-N-N.

  IMPOSSIBLE, I signed back immediately.

  I saw Mom give another one of those sighs and scrunch her eyes closed. She took a moment to collect herself and signed to me, WORK WITH HER. I KNOW YOU NOT HAPPY, BUT TRY. PLEASE.

  It was the expression on her face that ultimately made me back down. She looked so tired and worn down, and I knew it was partially because of me. I hadn’t made things easy on her since she announced we were moving. I knew she was doing everything she could to make a good life for us out here, and she had enough to worry about with my little brother, Connor. When you have a son with cystic fibrosis, somehow your Deaf teenager ends up being the less difficult one—maybe not so much attitude-wise though.

  OK, I signed, reaching over to squeeze her forearm. SORRY.

  OK, Mom signed, a wobbly smile on her lips.

  We sat in the two chairs in front of Dr. Rivera’s desk as he sat down again, looking relieved the storm had passed. Kathleen beckoned Nina closer before moving behind Dr. Rivera’s desk, standing directly in my line of sight to interpret.

  This was pretty much the last thing in the world I wanted to be doing, but probably the sooner I accepted this whole hearing school thing as my new “normal” the better off I might be.

  CHAPTER 2


  Despite what Kathleen promised, having Nina around was still a bit like having a babysitter.

  Nina took her position as peer mentor very seriously and was quite thorough as she led Kathleen and me on a tour around Engelmann. Every classroom, hallway, and office were described in painstaking detail, even though Engelmann wasn’t all that different from Pratt—just bigger. And every time I looked up, either Nina or Kathleen was watching me like they were escorting a toddler instead of a seventeen-year-old.

  To be fair, I’d had a split second of panic saying goodbye to Mom before Nina took us off on the tour. I was thrown into a flashback of my first day of kindergarten, terrified to see Mom go and leave me behind in a foreign place with total strangers. I’d wanted to hug her, take in the comforting scent of her amber perfume, beg her not to make me do this. Instead I squeezed her hand three times and signed, SEE YOU LATER.

  It was difficult to stay focused on Kathleen while she was interpreting what Nina was saying when students started trickling inside the closer we came to the first bell. People gravitated to their lockers that lined the hallways, chatting with one another or shuffling around still half asleep. At first, none of them noticed me. But Kathleen was very into her signing, and she threw her whole self into it with the facial expressions to match. I appreciated her enthusiasm, but it attracted attention more than I would’ve liked. It didn’t take very long before heads were turning as we passed through the halls.

  Kathleen waved a hand to get my attention for what was probably the sixth time, redirecting me toward Nina. We’d just reached the back door beside the cafeteria and Nina was talking animatedly, using her hands almost as much as she would have if she were signing.

  SHE TALK A LOT, I signed to Kathleen, and her lips twitched like she was fighting back a smile.

  The last stop on our tour of Engelmann was my locker before we were required to be in the gym for a first-day-of-school assembly to bolster our excitement for the new school year. I was probably the only person excited about the assembly, because it meant I could sit quietly and anonymously for a few minutes of this wacky day.